Forgiving and forgetting

We all have an uncomfortable past. Everything ranging from embarrassing act at a party to people who we would prefer that we had never made memories with. Then again, hurtful as they maybe, sometimes I feel thankful.

Now, I have absolutely no issues dealing with the past. Yeah, that line which I said that day thinking it was very funny turned out to be deeply embarrassing when others didn't feel so. Yeah, I shouldn't have gorged myself on all those pastries. Or, I should have made regular backups of data now that 6 months of data has now disappeared because of Vista crashing at the wrong time.

I would happily own up to these things and more. If I happen to run into someone from my past who I have had some very uncomfortable memories with, I don't mind it at all. In fact, I often do look forward to running into people from my past. I get to renew contacts with old friends so that I can use them to pull strings or just share a nice dinner with laughs. Or if it means running into people whom I have had messy breakups, that's cool too. Maybe atleast now I can apologise for my over-reacting then.

Ofcourse, nobody buys this. They think hate once harbored, never leaves. According to them, people never change and most certainly never feel sorry for what had been done. Even when I extend the olive branch they refuse to accept it. 

Why can't we be just friends? Forgive and forget?

12 January 2010

There is always this regret which I never seem to be able to get rid of. A recurring feeling of what if and only if. Eventhough I manage to deal with it many times, it always seems to come back. From what could be, fortunes change. 

The trigger, unknown or unrealised.
The effect, being so stark and permanent.
The bloody irony, after being prophesied.
For we tend not to forsee,
The result of our decisions.
For we listen not when we are cautioned,
Even when it is, in the best of our own intentions.  

If only people ever listened to voice of reason. Me included. The end result only frustrates, not because of what happened in spite of warnings and resonings, its just that often it turns out to be collateral damage.

I often get irritated with the ways of the world. Not being able to understand why things happen they way they do. Maybe its inherent in the very fabric of the Universe.

I now realise that choas and randomness does not lie in the nature of the Universe, but with the irrational behaviour of human beings.

The Architect as portrayed in the movie, The Matrix Reloaded, was right. His articulate and polished script lines didn't make sense then, but are crystral clear now.